Pregnancy Diary
Week 4: Realized I was pregnant – denial (even though we had been trying for several months), but feeling normal physically otherwise.
Week 5: Still realizing I’m pregnant - shock (change comes hard for me), but feeling normal physically otherwise.
Week 6: Started feeling pretty crappy, EXTREME fatigue, stomach aches, gagging, food and smell revulsions, nausea, constipation, moodiness, crankiness, general “blah” response to life.
As luck would have it, this was the time the McDonalds McRib sandwich commercial remade its debut on tv and showed no less than six times during any episode of Grey's Anatomy. I threw up in my mouth every time (not literally, but barely so.)
Our first OB visit for the first ultrasound happened mid week during week six. Baby measured about a week younger than we expected (I thought I was about seven weeks) but everything looked great. During this week I first started having to get up at least once to use the bathroom at night. I never did this before my kidneys started processing 10%+ more blood flow. Other symptoms: heartburn, indigestion, acid reflux, acne (primarily on my face and back; I was a blessed teenager and NEVER had any trouble with acne, so this was new territory), sore breasts, dry mouth, extreme thirst. Also, a horrid realization of how much caffeine I consume a day as I try to cut back. (Note: In reality, since I don't regularly drink coffee, I learned later I wasn't doing as bad as a thought on the caffine consumption.)
Week 7: more like week six; slight increase in appetite. Trying to figure out how best to eat – frequent, smaller meals are suggested to help ease nausea, etc.
Week 8: more like weeks six and seven, except my doctor-prescribed constipation and nausea medicines start to help – a little. Increased appetite and beginning to have specific food cravings, specifically french fries (I think because they are bland so they won't turn my stomach yet loaded with carbs and therefore fulfilling) and chocolate milk. Had an amazingly good day with energy and a good attitude on week 8, day 6. Thought the first trimester tide was beginning to turn.
Week 9: And the feeling like crap returns. Need for sleep is ridiculous. I am taking three hours naps on the weekends and not waking up until 7:15/7:30 a.m. on week mornings – after going to bed sometimes as early as 8:30 p.m. Needless to say, my 5:30 a.m., twice a week, hour-long spin class (that had been a regular part of my exercise routine for two months) was out of the question during the month of November (weeks 6-9) when I was trying to get used to needing ridiculous amounts of sleep.
New symptom that week: intense food cravings, i.e., seeing a commercial for food and immediately thinking, "I need that now," regardless of what it was. Same crazy fatigue but resolve to rejoin spin class next week regardless. (Note: this didn't happen. I didn't resume Saturday morning spin classes until week 14. The 5:30 a.m. weekly spin class are still a distant memory.) This was motivated by a growing pudge in the lower stomach, which probably had more to do with a uterus that doubled in size since conception than with the deficit in exercise.
Things I told (i.e. complained about) Robert frequently during the first trimester:
- I’m so tired.
- I’m just really tired.
- I’m going to bed.
- I feel like crap.
- Random, anoying gagging noises (from smells in fridge; smell of my previously loved Bath and Body Works holiday hand soaps - which I had to finally throw away well into the second trimester because the smell, or memory of it, still made my stomach turn; smell of Popeye’s Chicken we pass on the way home; brushing teeth, etc.)
- My stomach just hurts. (In response to Are you okay? or How do you feel?)
- I’m sorry I keep complaining and you’re the one who has to take it all. (Since we kept pregnancy under wraps until passing that crucial 12 week mark which coincided with the week of Christmas; also, Christmas sounded like a great time to tell our family and friends the happy news in person.
- Why is this so hard for me? People who suck at life and didn’t even plan to get pregnant handle/survive this all the time? (Note: enter sin nature.)
- I miss my old productive self (Note: sin nature again raises its ugly head; primarily because I struggle with finding my self-worth in how much I accomplish a day or in crossing off my to-do list rather than in Christ.)
- I want my energy back
- I’m ready to tell people about this pregnancy
- I don’t want to tell people about this pregnancy
- We can adopt our next children
- Random moaning sound (because of some horrible, unwelcome, pregnancy-induced feeling)
- I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom TWICE last night
- The thought of cooking Thanksgiving makes me want to throw up. (Note: luckily, Thanksgiving Day was good to me from a nausea perspective, though I did take a three-hour nap which tipped my sister-in-law in on the fact we were expecting.)
- Is it okay if Christmas doesn’t come to our house this year? The thought of getting out all our Christmas decorations, let alone putting them back up, makes me want to sleep for a week.
My thoughts on pregnancy (as perceived during the first trimester):
It’s not a symbiotic relationship, it’s a parasitic one. Baby steals your energy, calcium, vibe, mojo, ability to control the frequency of your bladder, and brain. Pregnancy induced brain lapses are true. I’ve already sounded like an idiot, used the wrong word, and blumbered my way through life too many times to count. Also, in this parasitic relationship, baby wins. Mom can’t even compete. (Note: but that's a good thing.)
Note: My thoughts on the first trimester now: Lower your productivity expectations. Let yourself rest. Every pregnant women is different. Get some nausea meds. This too shall pass. The second trimester return of energy is just around the corner.
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