Pregnancy Diary

***Disclaimer: I wrote this diary primarily during the worst weeks of my first trimester (weeks 6 to 10). I have not edited it for content (only clarity), so feelings/thoughts represented were accurate as of that time. This is primarily for my institutional memory, but feel free to enjoy for your reading pleasure, or skip over entirely. Also, given the honest nature of these thoughts, my sin nature is clearly displayed. Proceed with caution. :0).***

Pregnancy Diary
Week 4: Realized I was pregnant – denial (even though we had been trying for several months), but feeling normal physically otherwise.

Week 5: Still realizing I’m pregnant - shock (change comes hard for me), but feeling normal physically otherwise.

Week 6: Started feeling pretty crappy, EXTREME fatigue, stomach aches, gagging, food and smell revulsions, nausea, constipation, moodiness, crankiness, general “blah” response to life.

As luck would have it, this was the time the McDonalds McRib sandwich commercial remade its debut on tv and showed no less than six times during any episode of Grey's Anatomy. I threw up in my mouth every time (not literally, but barely so.)

Our first OB visit for the first ultrasound happened mid week during week six. Baby measured about a week younger than we expected (I thought I was about seven weeks) but everything looked great. During this week I first started having to get up at least once to use the bathroom at night. I never did this before my kidneys started processing 10%+ more blood flow. Other symptoms: heartburn, indigestion, acid reflux, acne (primarily on my face and back; I was a blessed teenager and NEVER had any trouble with acne, so this was new territory), sore breasts, dry mouth, extreme thirst. Also, a horrid realization of how much caffeine I consume a day as I try to cut back. (Note: In reality, since I don't regularly drink coffee, I learned later I wasn't doing as bad as a thought on the caffine consumption.)

Week 7: more like week six; slight increase in appetite. Trying to figure out how best to eat – frequent, smaller meals are suggested to help ease nausea, etc.

Week 8: more like weeks six and seven, except my doctor-prescribed constipation and nausea medicines start to help – a little. Increased appetite and beginning to have specific food cravings, specifically french fries (I think because they are bland so they won't turn my stomach yet loaded with carbs and therefore fulfilling) and chocolate milk. Had an amazingly good day with energy and a good attitude on week 8, day 6. Thought the first trimester tide was beginning to turn.

Week 9: And the feeling like crap returns. Need for sleep is ridiculous. I am taking three hours naps on the weekends and not waking up until 7:15/7:30 a.m. on week mornings – after going to bed sometimes as early as 8:30 p.m. Needless to say, my 5:30 a.m., twice a week, hour-long spin class (that had been a regular part of my exercise routine for two months) was out of the question during the month of November (weeks 6-9) when I was trying to get used to needing ridiculous amounts of sleep.

New symptom that week: intense food cravings, i.e., seeing a commercial for food and immediately thinking, "I need that now," regardless of what it was. Same crazy fatigue but resolve to rejoin spin class next week regardless. (Note: this didn't happen. I didn't resume Saturday morning spin classes until week 14. The 5:30 a.m. weekly spin class are still a distant memory.) This was motivated by a growing pudge in the lower stomach, which probably had more to do with a uterus that doubled in size since conception than with the deficit in exercise.

Things I told (i.e. complained about) Robert frequently during the first trimester:

• I’m so tired.
• I’m just really tired.
• I’m going to bed.
• I feel like crap.
• Random, anoying gagging noises (from smells in fridge; smell of my previously loved Bath and Body Works holiday hand soaps - which I had to finally throw away well into the second trimester because the smell, or memory of it, still made my stomach turn; smell of Popeye’s Chicken we pass on the way home; brushing teeth, etc.)
• My stomach just hurts. (In response to Are you okay? or How do you feel?)
• I’m sorry I keep complaining and you’re the one who has to take it all. (Since we kept pregnancy under wraps until passing that crucial 12 week mark which coincided with the week of Christmas; also, Christmas sounded like a great time to tell our family and friends the happy news in person.
• Why is this so hard for me? People who suck at life and didn’t even plan to get pregnant handle/survive this all the time? (Note: enter sin nature.)
• I miss my old productive self (Note: sin nature again raises its ugly head; primarily because I struggle with finding my self-worth in how much I accomplish a day or in crossing off my to-do list rather than in Christ.)
• I want my energy back
• I’m ready to tell people about this pregnancy
• I don’t want to tell people about this pregnancy
• We can adopt our next children
• Random moaning sound (because of some horrible, unwelcome, pregnancy-induced feeling)
• I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom TWICE last night
• The thought of cooking Thanksgiving makes me want to throw up. (Note: luckily, Thanksgiving Day was good to me from a nausea perspective, though I did take a three-hour nap which tipped my sister-in-law in on the fact we were expecting.)
• Is it okay if Christmas doesn’t come to our house this year? The thought of getting out all our Christmas decorations, let alone putting them back up, makes me want to sleep for a week.
  

My thoughts on pregnancy (as perceived during the first trimester):

It’s not a symbiotic relationship, it’s a parasitic one. Baby steals your energy, calcium, vibe, mojo, ability to control the frequency of your bladder, and brain. Pregnancy induced brain lapses are true. I’ve already sounded like an idiot, used the wrong word, and blumbered my way through life too many times to count. Also, in this parasitic relationship, baby wins. Mom can’t even compete. (Note: but that's a good thing.)

Note: My thoughts on the first trimester now: Lower your productivity expectations. Let yourself rest. Every pregnant women is different. Get some nausea meds. This too shall pass. The second trimester return of energy is just around the corner.

That episode of Friends

Vezi mai multe din Emisiuni TV pe 220.ro

First Trimester Recap

First of all, let me just start by saying that not every post on this blog is going to turn into a pregnancy post. It's just a big part of what's happening in our life right now, so though it will probably be a frequent topic, just know I also plan to continue to post about other life happenings.

That being said, since we didn't reveal the happy news until week 12, I thought it would be good to go back and do a quick recap of the first trimester, again more for my family history on this blog than for a good story, so feel free to stop reading if at any time you get bored.

First off, since some of you have asked, yes, we did plan for this baby. In late April 2010, the prescription for my birth control pills ran out, and we decided not to refill it. We were ready to grow our family and decided to leave the exact timing up to God. That, it turns out, is a lot easier said than done. Though we agreed this was the right next step for our family, I immediately had doubts that we were ready for this crucial new stage. I think the Lord took the next several months to work on my heart, cause me to trust him, diminish my fears, and gradually grow a stronger desire for a baby and to be parents.

In his perfect timing, it was about a month or two after I became more trusting and excited about the potential pregnancy, letting go of my worries and fears about our ability to handle (i.e., control) this new situation, that we conceived in early October.

On Sunday, October 24, I woke and started getting ready for church. I knew I needed to take a pregnancy test since I was late, but my cycles had been pretty irregular since going off the birth control pill and I had already had a few negative pregnancy tests, so I wasn't really expecting anything new this time. Looking back I think I was trying to manage my expectations and minimize my disappointment since by this point I was actually longing to be pregnant, but had begun to struggle with some fears over our ability to conceive.

It's funny how quickly feelings change when, three minutes later, you look down and see two little lines on a pregnancy test, do a double take, and suddenly have this very unreal feeling like life if moving in slow motion. I remember taking a shower in a very numb, shocked state of mind trying to let the news sink in. Even after telling Robert, it still didn't quite feel real. We decided to wait another week, take a pregnancy test again then, and if it was still positive call the doctor. That Sunday we had some family portraits made with my family. I remember thinking then that they were true family portraits.


The following Sunday we had another positive pregnancy test (no, duh) so I called my OB at UAB to schedule an appointment. I'm under the care of Dr. Debra Kimberlin, a maternal fetal medicine specialist at UAB's new Women & Infants Center. Basically, she's a doc who handles high-risk pregnancies. When I was 12 I was diagnosed with a mild case of lupus. Since then, my symptoms have lessened and are mild at best and fortunately very controlled.

My rheumatologist refers to my current condition as an undifferentiated connective tissue disease. However, back when I had my pre-conception counseling, we together made the decision to have me under the care of a maternal fetal medicine specialist during pregnancy. For all practical purposes, they are monitoring me as closely as they would a mom with a severe case of lupus, and many of the more frequent and more intense tests I have and will receive are similar to those they give diabetic moms, mothers of multiples, older moms, and other high-risk cases.

So far, I have to say that my "high-risk" status/experience has a blessing rather than a burden. Our first appointment and ultrasound was very early in the pregnancy at six and a half weeks, and we've had ultrasounds at every other appointment but one. By the time I reach 20 weeks, I will have had four total ultrasounds.

Though I had no idea what I was seeing on the screen for the first dating ultrasound at 6.5 weeks, it was comforting to know: 1) baby was alive and well, and 2) there was only one baby in there. This is what Baby A looked like at 6.5 weeks. I actually thought I was about seven weeks along, but Baby measured/dated a little smaller.



It was truly was like that episode of Friends where Ross (in this case Robert) can see everything the ultrasound tech is pointing out and Rachel is right there making "oohs" and "ahhs" like she gets it only to burst into tears later and admit she sees nothing but big black blobs. (Never seen that episode? No worries. I'll post it for your viewing pleasure. Hilarious.) I didn't cry like Rachel, but I sure couldn't make out a baby in that picture. While doing that ultrasound, they noticed a cyst on my right ovary. Since it hadn't been painful, they said it would likely go away unnoticed.

A week later, the day before Thanksgiving, I noticed it. I had gotten up that morning to get ready for work and realized my lower stomach on my right side was hurting. Within about five minutes the pain had me laid out on the bed. I remember grabbing my "What to Expect When You're Expecting Book" to confirm I could take some Tylenol, reading about the possibility of the pain being caused by a rupture of the cyst, and eventually calling the doctor after I realized it was some of the worse pain I had experienced in my life and didn't appear to be lessening. Given the situation and the holiday, I was told to come on in to UAB's Maternity Evaluation Unit. I called Robert who returned home from work (he probably barely got his computer booted up before I called) to take me. At that point I was still pretty much laid out on the bed, on the verge of vomiting, and struggling to breath through the pain. Luckily it began to lesson on the ride to the hospital and eventually dissipated.

We were immediately checked in, seen by a resident, seen by another resident (this time a female) who did a vaginal exam, and then an ultrasound to confirm baby was okay, and after a few more hours saw the high risk doctor on call. She explained that they had ruled out more dangerous causes of the pain like appendicitis and that most likely the cyst had burst. She told me to return immediately if the pain started again that day. It was about lunch time when we rolled out of the parking lot and through the Chick-fil-a drive in for lunch and decided to officially start our Thanksgiving vacation. We were very pleased with that emergency room experience, and especially with the way the baby's health and safety was almost immediately confirmed.

Four weeks later in mid December I returned for my second appointment, was thrilled to learn I was getting another ultrasound (it's easy to get addicted to those pictures), and even more amazed at how much Baby A had grown and developed in four short weeks. I could definitely see a baby this time, complete with arms, legs, feet, and a big, round head.

Robert was in Virginia for work and I texted him the photo of our baby (now clearly a baby and not a blurry black fuzzy thing) they printed out and gave me. It's the one that I posted to the blog when we first announced our pregnancy if you want to look at the "And Baby Makes Three" post from early January 2011. I like to call it the dummy version since the ultrasound tech labeled in all caps "Arm" and "Feet" next to the limbs so I would be sure not to miss them.

I did have a brief, fleeting worry that our baby had three legs because the umbilical cord was right between the two legs in one of the pictures and from that angle appeared to be the same length as the other legs. When the tech didn't say anything, I figured we probably had nothing to worry about and I should keep my day job since I obviously have no future in reading ultrasounds.

All in all, the first trimester progressed without much fanfare. In comparison to the women and horror stories I have heard, I had it pretty easy. Yes, for a period of about four weeks (weeks six to 10) I did feel terrible, extremely tired and nauseous, and had other not-so -fun symptoms. But I never got sick and with the help of some nausea meds was able to power through on to better days full of second trimester energy.

I will, however, post my personal "pregnancy journal" from those first weeks when I felt so badly. It's easy to lose perspective in the midst of the rough weeks, so I'm sure my take on how I was feeling will be quite different than what I mentioned above.

Baby A: 17 weeks

This photo was technically taken at 16 weeks, but I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow and so far Baby A is growing by what feels like leaps and bounds. I'm pretty sure I'm bigger now than even in the above picture from a week ago. I don't think I'm going to make it too many more weeks before I have to make the jump to official maternity pants. I'm sure my waste will thank me for finally giving up on the effort to squeeze into my regular plants. My sweet mother-in-law mailed me a belly sock, so it's probably about time I gave it a whirl.

My last OB appointment was at 15 weeks. I was able to hear Baby A's heartbeat with the doppler. It was quite fast, but I'm not sure what that indicates (per old wives tales) as far as boy or girl. At 15 weeks, I had only gained 5 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, so I think I'm on track though I certainly feel as though I've gained - or at least grown - more since then. The doc in my prenatal class tonight said that you can expect to gain about 5 pounds in the first trimester and another 10 each in the second to third trimesters. I've heard other guidelines also though, one being that at about 12 weeks you start gaining a pound week.

At 17 weeks, Baby A weighs about 5 ounces and is around 5 to 6 inches long from head to bottom - roughly the size of either a turnip or onion depending on which baby website you check and it's specific fruit/vegetable guide. S/he can move its joints, its skeleton is changing from rubbery cartilage to hardened bone, sweat glands are forming, sense of hearing is developing, and apparently though the eyelids are still sealed, Baby A is now sensative to light. If I shined a flashlight on my belly it might shift away from the light; though I can't quite feel its movements yet, that too is coming in the upcoming weeks. And we have unique fingerprints this week also!

We are scheduled for our anatomy ultrasound on February 7 and will shortly thereafter announce the gender of Baby A. I'm looking forward to this ultrasound which will provide us with lots of details on the growth and development of baby.

Baby and I are still enjoying our hour-long Saturday morning spin (indoor cycling) classes and I'm trying to also put in some time on the ellyptical and/or treadmill a few other times during the week. I'm also trying to really increase my water consumption to stay hydrated, which means I'm running to the bathroom even more than normal for pregnancy. This has also made it a little harder to sleep at night, along with crazy pregnancy dreams which wake me up at wierd hours. I hear that's all just part and parcel for the course. Overall we are feeling great, and I really have no complaints.

Saturday we braved Buy Buy Baby with my sweet parents, who kindly offered to come along and help us navigate the bazillion models of carseats and strollers you can choose from. I was proud of myself for not hyperventilating in the store. We focused just on looking at the carseats and strollers and trying to find the models we liked (aka, I could lift, collapse, etc. on my own) which Robert knew had been rated highly on Consumer Reports.

Two hours later, after we pretty much had narrowed down the carseats to two to three models I liked best and made zero progress on the strollers, we collapsed, exhausted, in the recliner section. In about 20 minutes we had identified the nursery rocker/ottoman set we want, so in a way that felt like victory. As you can see, Dad took his job of trying out the rockers pretty seriously while mom and I looked over the upholstry options. I think at that point Robert was dilerious.

And Baby Makes Three

For those of you who don't yet know, we are expecting our first child in July! Baby Adams is **supposed** to make his/her debut July 6, 2011. After telling our family over the Christmas holidays (see the Christmas posts for how we shared the big news) at 12.5 weeks, we broke the news to friends and went "Facebook public" on January 4.

We are excited...nervous...slightly terrified and feeling largely inadequate and unprepared. All reactions I think are probably perfectly normal. It's funny how more real it all seems now that everyone knows. For a while there it was just Robert and mine's big, little, happy secret, which was hard to hide given my nausea, extreme fatigue, and sudden onset of sobriety.

I have a terrible memory, so I started a small pregnancy journal on a post-it note (not joking when I say small) at week 6 when we had our first ultrasound - mainly to chronicle how I was feeling in the first trimester cause goodness knows I won't remember the second time around when I'm trying to compare pregnancies. In the following weeks I added to it with a little more detail about how I was feeling. I'll probably post some very honest thoughts from that on another post. You're welcome to skip that read if it's boring or gross. It's primarily for my institutional family memory.

I do have to say that Facebook is extremely good at making you feel loved and part of community. Anyone who has had a birthday while on Facebook knows this. It's especially true when you post big news like expecting a baby. In all of 30 seconds 15 friends have liked and commented their overjoyedness at your big news. In 24 hours, more than a hundred friends have shared your joy. Definitely helps to get you excited about something that up until that point caused a lot of worry and nausea. :)

The short of it is that Baby A is doing great today at 15 weeks, growing on schedule, and treating mom much more nicely now that the second trimester has come and I have more energy and less nausea. Though I have to say I have been very fortunate to have such minimal morning sickness that seems to render some women incapacitated for three months.

That's all for now. More baby news to come with ultrasound pics, OB appointment stories, and the 411 on the first trimester as I try to catch everyone back up on where we are in this pregnancy.

We are thankful to God for the opportunity and privilege to be parents and for this special life. We pray he will claim Baby A for his own and use him/her in a mighty way for the advancement of his kingdom. Trusting in his promises, we know there are good things to come! :)

Julia's reaction

This is what happens when you tell a best friend (with the gift of excitement) that you are going to have a baby...

Julia & Joshua's Wedding

My precious friend Julia got married on New Year's Day (1-1-11!) in this gorgeous castle in Colorado Springs. Colorado's biggest snow of the year (at the time) fell a few days before and blanketed the Palmer Estate and Glyn Eyrie Castle in this gorgeous white setting. It was picturesque to say the least. Robert and I were so privileged to travel to Colorado and join Julia and Joshua in worship at their marriage ceremony. Julia is in many ways the sister I never had. We shared a room together in college for two years, and she was my maid of honor. What a privilege to be with her on her big day.

We flew into Denver on Thursday and had lunch at Duffy's Cherry Cricket. Highly recommended, it's one of the best burger and brews joints in town. We then headed south to the Springs in our trusty Ford Focus rental to Julia's parents house for her and Joshua's around the clock shower. It was great to tell her our baby news in person. And we had so much fun meeting and hanging out with her and Joshua's family.

They had some great shower games, including the make a wedding dress out of a roll of toilet paper game. Yours truly's team won with our stylish rosette design below modeled beautifully by Joshua's brother!

Friday Robert drove to Cooper to ski for the day. The wind chill was negative 15 on the mountain, but with the fresh snow fall he had a great, but cold, day on the sloops. Baby A and I stayed back at the castle, where we kept warm and helped Julia with some last minute things. I also got to take some fun pics of the family during the rehearsal.

The rehearsal dinner was so fun! Julia and Joshua sported their matching red leather patent shoes purchased especially for the occassion! They were one sharp couple.

I also loved, loved, loved meeting Julia's former roommate in Denver, Laura Beth Trucks. LB is a Birmingham native, and it was so good to have a kindred southern spirit on the trip. We became fast friends.

Ok, so I bought my dress for the rehearsal dinner before Baby A decided to pooch, which he/she randomly did out of no where that week at 13 weeks. Not quite as flattering as it was in the dressing room of Macy's a month earlier, but alas there were no other options.

Saturday - wedding day - was also Bama's bowl game. We found this great place, Phantom Brewery Company in the Springs, to watch Bama roll over the Spartans. All of Julia's recommendations for restaurants were outstanding. Then we headed back to the castle so I could help the bride get ready. Isn't she gorgeous!

The wedding was wonderful, such a great time of worship and celebration, and all the great dancing and partying afterwards was such a treat, though I have to say the being preggers makes you get crazy winded on a dance floor! You definitely can see the baby pooch in the family pic below.

With the beautiful bride and groom! Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Pheonix!